Kia Ora-

Hey, have I ever said, 'Fuck Tampa'?

Yeah, well I meant it. What a fucking town. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. You can no longer find a 24-hour supermarket, let alone one that stays open till midnight. And forget finding doughnuts or any other food during late night...that is, unless you want roast pork or sturgeon or chicken wings. But doughnuts...not unless you're willing to drive halfway to St. Petersburg for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Which I did. The closest doughnut shop to the stadium on Gandy between Manhattan and Westshore. Granted, that's my old stomping grounds, but that's pretty fucked up if Krispy Kreme (which is literally 2 minutes from V's apartment) can't keep enough doughnuts in stock for their customers. And I didn't really even want any, but after the extent of this trip you'd better believe I got myself some (and the nice Germanic lady at DD gave me an extra one, so that made it worth it).

At least it's been a gorgeous night out there, what with all the fog rolling in. And on foggy nights all the neon on Dale Mabry looks rather beautiful. I love this town.

No, fuck it--I hate this town.

But I really do love this town, deep inside.

This town has been nothing but Shitsville-Losertown, dirty and fake.

Master will take care of us, master loves us...

No, master is just using you to get the Precious...

No, not listening...

Fool, master will kill you and take the Precious when he gets the chance...

Not listening...

WHOA! Sorry, I somehow was chanelling Gollum there. (If you don't understand then you need to push your ass away from the computer screen right now and run out to see Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers. Do it now!)

Anyway, enough about doughnuts. Stop #2--Gasparilla.

Those of you who don't know, our biggest Tampa holiday is in celebration of the pirate Jose Gaspar. Now mind you, I think it's pretty cool to have a dubious character glamourized by the town's populous (even a nod to the direction that the name for the Buccaneers came from--one of the things this town has going for it is piratical exhaultation). But really, think about it--celebrating the life of a drunken, pillaging, raping, plundering, murderous, disease ridden cur is the biggest claim this city has. And EVERYBODY gets into the act. It's the big time for Tampa's...*ahem*...cultural elite. But, it has been going on for literally generations and so ingrained into our community psyche that I couldn't even imagine the town without it. It is one thing that is something that has basically been passed down in families and something I just will never be able to grasp. It is not my celebration per se, but I admire tradition. It just never fails to amaze me that there haven't been more complaints about the composition of the character who is being glorified, being we have such a politically correct society. Still, though I don't attend the parades or parties or the like, I do take a sinister pleasure in thinking that half-a-million plus people are reveling in the streets celebrating a miscreant. God bless 'em!

I wonder if I were to invade Tampa and walk up to the mayor with flintlocks and say, 'Stand and deliver!' if he would hand over the key of the city to me... Remind me to put that on my to-do list.

And finally, NEIL FINN was the musical guest on Late Night With Conan O'Brien tonight. He performed one of the new tracks (Human Kindness) off of his latest American release, One All (a remixed version of his 2001 internationally released album One Nil, minus two songs and adding two new songs). Not my favourite of his tracks, but Hell--it's Neil Finn on a nationally recognized US show! Actually, he was on Craig Kilbourn's show last year and I do remember him and Tim Finn debuting the Finn Brothers thing on Conan in 1995. Not to mention all the appearances with Crowded House. Neil rules!

OK, that's it from me. This weekend is going to be full of Lutheran Bluegrass and Greek sponges, so I'm off to watch The Simpsons, Sponge Bob Squarepants, and sleep.

Later, duders.

Heart,

-N.